How Coding Helps Treat My Depression
I’ll be honest here. I come from a culture where mental illness is treated as a taboo and is a social stigma. Depression is always regarded as a “phase” or something “he/she will get over soon” without seeking medical and psychological help. I bet that the only thing stopping thousands of depression-related suicides is that our prevalent religion prohibits suicide and condemns it as one of the worsts sins….Or maybe we do have high suicide rates that are just being covered up or go unreported because of the shame it would cause the grieving family. But I digress.
About 2–3 years ago, I started developing symptoms of depression and, more recently, extreme anxiety. At the time I thought that maybe I was a little sad because I have moved to a different country (USA) and left so many loved friends and family behind. I had convinced myself that I must be not eating well, and that I’ll be home soon after I finish my studies. But I began to notice a pattern. Almost like a bipolar person, I’d be happy and extremely optimistic one day, but the next I suddenly lose the will to live. I noticed that every few months I would get what seems like an episodic psychological nervous breakdown. I would suddenly tear up, feel all hope leaving my body, and I slowly go to bed to sleep it off. I get the worst episodes in winter. Now I never tell any of my friends because I am usually the one they turn to for help when they are depressed or have any type of emotional problem, and I want them to continue to do so without worrying about my own problems. I certainly don’t tell my parents to avoid them having to worry extra about my living in a foreign country alone. And I can’t afford a psychologist nor do I have time for one.
Now the reason I am writing this article is not to try to figure out what is causing my depression. I suspect that I am not a unique case, and that this is more common than anyone realizes. I feel that so many people I've met and known are suffering from depression to some extent. If you are one of those people and you are reading this I encourage you to try coding which seemed to help me a lot. I was first introduced to software programming in my sophomore year in college when I learned basic programming concepts in C++. I remember it being a magical discovery. That feeling of finally being able to really control a computer’s logic and turn my thoughts into codes that run. Creating a program from scratch was just very satisfying and challenging enough to keep my mind off things. That was before I moved countries and started getting depressed though. But to keep this story short, I graduated with a degree in economics and didn't code much for 2 years.
My interest in software development never dwindled though, but because of legal reasons I could not get a job not related to economics so I worked in project management and market research for a year. All the while, depression episodes kept getting worse and more frequent to the point where I found no joy or purpose in anything I did. However, a few months ago I picked up on an online programming learning platform called Free Code Camp that introduced me to JavaScript. Mind you, I already knew my HTML and CSS, but I could not do cool things with just those two. Going through the JavaScript challenges and and the different projects and videos on Free Code Camp were incredibly entertaining and brought back that magical feelings I first got when I was introduced to computer science in college years ago. And solving coding problems and creating websites and apps are one of the few things in life that I can confidently say I am good at learning. I had since decided to become a full-stack developer and switch my career. But because of legal reasons, I have to go back to college and pursue a computer science degree which I will this year (I got accepted and enrolled in a good university this month).
Even though I am about to go through extremely rough financial times and academic hardships (I am currently brushing up on calculus that I had not touched in 2 years), I have a renewed sense of purpose because I am actually pursuing something I am passionate about. And I have not had any major depression episodes since I got back to coding. Although I will admit I had a bad day in December. Told you winters are the worst.
If you see yourself in what you just read, try out coding. There are tons of free online resources for all ages that could get you and running. It’s never too late nor too early to start. And you don’t need a college degree either. There are so many success stories of people who did this switch successfully. HOWEVER, if you have decided that you are depressed because of money or you just want to learn coding because you heard of good salaries for developer jobs, do yourself a favor and look for something else. And I am not being sassy or dismissive when I say that, I genuinely want you to pursue what you are passionate about because ultimately that is what’s going to help you with your struggles with depression. If you try out coding and it doesn't spark a passion within you, then please don’t give up and keep looking for something, or someone (or both), that you deeply care about.
